On Gratitude, Ronald McDonald House and Teaching Our Children

I recently did some work filming at a Ronald McDonald House in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. The Ronald McDonald Organization is a national charity that provides housing for families when their children are having extended stays in the hospital.

At each location they offer housing, a kitchen, and other support services for families to make the challenges of their situation a bit easier.

Their mission is to keep families together, as they believe that in doing so, there is healing for everyone involved in dealing with childhood illness.

As I spoke to some of the families, my perspective shifted. It is easy to take things for granted when our children are healthy and our families are home. The families I filmed are grateful for having a meal cooked for them, access to wi-fi, a bedroom that feels personal, and smiles from people who are familiar when they are far from home.

Listening to these families, I saw that their gratitude was deep, overwhelming and intense. It created opening and closeness.

Talking to Kids about Gratitude

I try to use gratitude in my home as a regular on-going conversation with my son.  When we focus on gratitude, it can create good feeling and closeness. Sometimes I will ask my son during dinner what happened in his day that made him feel grateful.

Other times as I am tucking him into bed, I will tell him the 5 things about my day that I am grateful for and ask him about his.

There are a lot of other ways to introduce gratitude into a conversation, to make it into a game and to keep it present.  I find that talking about what we are grateful for shifts things.  It makes the mood more positive, lighter and gentler.

Daily Awareness of Gratitude

In that spirit, today I am grateful for

• My son
• My good health
• My family and dear friends
• The beautiful morning light coming in the window as I write this
• The gift of getting to do what I love
• The good books I have read this summer and the joy of reading
• The challenge and fun of writing this blog
• The day ahead

Sharing What We Are Thankful For

What are you grateful for?

How does gratitude open a conversation in your family?

A Curious Mind - Lessons from a Filmmaker, Inspiration for Parents

I recently read a new book, written by the extraordinary producer, Brian Grazer, entitled A CURIOUS MIND, THE SECRET TO A BIGGER LIFE.  Brian is an incredibly successful producer and the force behind such projects as Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind, and most recently, the hit television show, Empire. He owns his company, Imagine Entertainment with director Ron Howard.

Brian Grazer Photo: IMDB

I have followed Brian’s career for a long time because, as a film producer I am always fascinated by what makes another producer successful. What propels him or her forward?  How do they work best? How do they identify projects and decide to create them or not?  Brian is known in the industry to be hard working, affable and extremely fun to work with.

And now, after reading his book, I understand why.

Photo: Amazon

In A Curious Mind, Brian makes the point that it is the trait of curiosity that creates more success, bigger wins and closer relationships. He offers that the act of asking questions at every juncture brings us closer to our own truths and to those that we are close to.  I couldn’t agree more.

In fact, I think I was drawn to this book because I innately understood that curiosity is the thing that keeps us young - and relatable to our children. Curiosity opens doors in our communication with our kids. When our children are asking us why a million times (while it can sometimes be annoying) it is an opportunity to get to the bottom of what they are trying to understand. And to, in turn, understand them. 

What are they curious about? What moves them? How does their line of thinking work?

It is clear that asking questions of others sets the stage for more truths. It shows that we are interested, engaged and present; all things that our children need us to be.  In honor of Brian Grazer and his book, I offer up a challenge to you. Can you come up with 5 things that you are curious about your children?

Ask them, go deeper, get closer.  And tell us about it!

Here are a few curiosities of mine, conversation starters that we use at Portraits that Move when filming documentaries for families.  Use these as jumping off points, and keep your kids talking.  You - and they - will benefit from it greatly. 

How does it feel for you when you sing?
Do you like the beach or the forest better and why?
What is your favorite summer frozen treat? What do you like about it?
What is your deepest wish?

Curiosity is a core value at Portraits That Move. One that keeps us working hard to meet more kids, to understand them, who they are and all the reasons we celebrate them. 

Conversations with Kids: Transition to Summer, An Interview with My Son

The end of the school year came fast and furiously last month and in New York, the kids were in school until almost July so we are still easing into the reality of summer. June is always an intense month filled with endings and beginnings. It marks the ending of a grade, of a school year, of a class and the beginning of the carefree, fun days of summer.

My son, on his last day of school in June

Like most parental rights of passage, I found this time this year very bittersweet. I was incredibly excited for my son that he was finishing his school year and that it had been a good one for him. I share his excitement for all things summer: fireworks, ice cream, traveling, beaches, swimming, late playdates, s’mores (he really loves those!) and summer reading.  Yet all the while, I also felt a bit wistful how about fast the time is going by and quickly my son is growing up.

Much like I do when filming kids for Portraits that Move documentaries, I decided to do a quick interview with him, asking about his feelings on summer in the hopes of opening up a conversation about this transition. What I found was that he was present, thinking forward and open. He felt curious, positive and at ease. The conversation with him was brief but joyful.

Q: What do you love most about summer?

A: Traveling to places like Cape Cod and Maine because I like spending time with my family. When I go there I get to see all my cousins.

Q: How does summer feel different from the school year to you?

A: Well, I miss my friends and I don’t like learning as much as learning while you are doing something fun and summer is a way better time to do that because there is no homework.

Q: What will you miss about school?

A: That my friends are there - I miss them already - that they help me a lot and I love them and I don’t see them a lot in the summer.

Q: Do you have any goals – is there something you really want to do, learn or get better at – this summer?

A: I want to learn more multiplication. And I want to learn about rocks, and birds and nature.

Q: What is your favorite summer tradition?

A: Going to Cape Cod and s’mores, of course. 

After this conversation I felt less emotional.  Conversation and questions always soften the intensity of any moment. Our children offer us the gift of living in the present moment. It is up to us how often we allow ourselves to live in that moment with them.  I hope to do a great deal of that this summer with my son.

Speaking with our children, asking questions and really hearing their answers is such an important part of our job as parents, and my job as a filmmaker.  This summer, I want to be mindful of creating space for conversations with my son.  And I know it will make our summer all the more joyful, and memorable, no matter how quickly it seems to go.